Suddenly asleep, these images run through my head. Standing on a rope bridge a thousand feet above a rushing river. Steep cliffs on either side of dark brown. Dark dark brown. In my hands are plastic tubes like otter pops, frozen and still attached to one another. But the tubes are filled with frozen blood and I am quickly tearing them apart and dropping them into the crevasse before they melt and spill the blood on my hands.

I shake myself awake seconds later with a gasping breath.

It was animal blood and I think of the rabbit I held today while she died and I think about the fragility of life and I think it's all so short and we just have to do it all. You can't be everything to everyone. Just be everything to yourself. Vulnerability and silence.